As I'm handed the key to Dodge's new Challenger retro-rocket, I wonder how I can enjoy a car like this at a time like this. Who needs a 425-horsepower, two-door coupe that weighs 4,100 lbs and guzzles down fuel like a battle tank? No one. Yet I'm pulled towards the car like if it was aiming a tractor beam at me. I'm confused. I'm perplexed. I'm in a dilemma. I need help.

The SRT8 is a blast to drive and the perfect extension of your virility.

All of a sudden, POOF! I'm startled by something that appears on my right shoulder...

Hellish HEMI
ANGEL: You have to resist! If you succumb to the Challenger now, you'll never be able to enjoy a fuel-efficient car ever again!

POOF! Something then appears over my left shoulder.

DEVIL: Don't listen to him! Go ahead, I know you're dying to press that start button and wake up the beast that lies within. Feel the thrust of the SRT8 and its 0 to 100 km/h time of 5.0 seconds with the 6-speed manual. And by the time you reach a quarter mile, which takes 12.9 seconds, you'll be speeding along at 173 km/h, and adrenaline will be rushing through your veins. Fwahaha!

ANGEL: What are you DOING? Imagine how much emissions are spitting out of that 6.1-litre V8 while you're consuming super unleaded at a rate of 16 L/100 km! Isn't the old-fashioned axle hop enough to make you realize what you're doing is WRONG?

DEVIL: Come on, you'll see that the Challenger doesn't have a stiff ride, and don't believe the Angel when he tells you that the SRT8 is a polluter. At 100 km/h on the highway, the V8 is spinning at only 1,600 rpm.

Sitting in a hole
ANGEL: You've got to be kidding me. For such a big car, the cabin sure feels cramped. Can't you hear the wind leak around the driver's side window? I'll bet my left wing that you can climb onto the rear seat, but you'll never get out by yourself. And I can't see a thing when you're backing up in the Challenger. Be reasonable!

Get this car before environmentalists force manufacturers to abandon great V8 engines like this one.